It's been a long run, getting from there to here (part 2)

It's become unavoidable
I've been sitting here trying not to think of the inevitable outcome, hoping that if I just give things time that it will all blow over, that things can go back to how they used to be. But as time drags on I've had to face the truth, things aren't going to go back to the way they were, and it makes me mad, angry, and sad. I feel like going out onto the balcony of my apartment and screaming 
I HATE YOU! 
JUST GO AWAY!
I DON'T WANT YOU ANYMORE JUST LIKE YOU DON'T WANT ME!
I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT YOU WHEN I WAKE UP! 
I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU DURING THE DAY! 
I DON'T WANT TO FEAR GOING TO SLEEP BECAUSE I KNOW YOU'LL BE THERE IN THE MORNING!
...even if they wouldn't hear me, I think it would make me feel better....
for just a little while.

I know I'm being petty, I'd like to think it's not my fault, but I just can't help knowing that it is.

I've been sitting here in my room because it's the only way I know I can avoid you. I don't want to go outside... to see you, to be blinded by your radiance, I just want you to go away, and if you won't go away I just want you to keep your distance. When you're near I get hot and flustered, and I put my jacket on with the hood up just so I can avoid your brilliant gaze, even though it makes the heat all the more unbearable. Even though I shun you I still see you as a necessary part of my life..I don't want you anymore, just like you don't want me, but I still want you to be around me because you give me life even if you don't know it. It's a battle inside me, I need you, but I don't want you.

I hate you 

but I need you with all my heart

please stay nearby

but leave me alone

--- Westen

PS- In case you are all wondering who this is addressed to it's addressed to The Sun... yes the big glowy ball in the sky... I miss Winter