I don't know where I'm going with this...

I often find myself having conversations with people that aren't there.
Not in the weird creepy sense that you might think, I'm not schizophrenic, and I'm not as insane as other member's of my family. When I have an idea, am bored, or have some interesting bit of knowledge that I feel like discussing with someone about I will often talk about it to someone in my mind. I will usually conjure up a friend or someone I know well enough that I can predict the way a conversation will turn out, or maybe it is them I want to talk to. Failing to do that I might bring a random stranger into my mind or pretend that I am talking to a News Reporter or Interviewer (only if the subject at hand concerns me).

I will then go and talk to the person about the thought, idea, or subject. Holding out the conversation on both ends but only being sure about one end, only partially certain how the other side will play out. I do this all inside my head of course usually when I'm performing a rudimentary task like mowing the lawn or doing the dishes, or when I am forced to be away from some source of entertainment or social interaction. I've often wondered if other people do this. It seems somewhat abstract but not so far off that I know people haven't done it before.

The strangest and most annoying thing about doing this is when I actually go and talk to this person face to face. If the actual conversation starts up I usually will forget my part and fumble over my words and the conversation will differ horribly from the one I had in my mind. This wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that I come across as seeming like a total moron, or if the pretend conversation wasn't more fun to have then the real conversation. What is even more annoying is the fact that while I am away from a person I can have a never ending source of things to talk about, joke about, and parley as much as I want, but then when I actually talk to the person I find that I can't find anything interesting to talk about or can't engage them in conversation at all. We will then both sit there in silence and a stupor until one of us goes and finds something more interesting to do or someone more interesting to talk with.

Sometimes though the opposite occurs. Instead of the conversation not happening, it goes horribly different then I would think. I am then at a standstill and have to catch myself up to speed.

I've always been amazed at people that can have conversations and have the ability to communicate well, spouting off a never ending stream of wit, rhetoric, or wisdom from their mouth all in a clear pristine cascade of sweet smelling words. But I digress...or do I.


I would write more, but I just fried my brain watching to much stuff online and now can't think of anything else but how funny it would be if you could ACTUALLY install Linux on a toilet. I would so customize mine to quack like a duck whenever it flushed. Though I'm not sure how you would get to the command line.

So talk to you all soon...though you won't know I'm talking to you I suppose.